One of the most important and powerful passages of The Confessions relates the journey of the self toward wholeness. The scene, which occurs in book VIII, occurs in the garden of Augustine’s house in Milan, in July 386. Augustine was in poor health and felt his life was going nowhere. He no longer wanted to teach and wanted to abandon all his worldly ambitions of securing a glorious career. Throughout Confessions, Augustine is torn between two opposing forces, sexual desire and spiritual desire, and he confronts the conflict here one final time. … In his Milan garden, Augustine came to a decision that would forever end this struggle. In his garden, he heard a child’s voice saying, in Latin, “tolle, lege,” which means “take and read.” Augustine was reading the letters of Saint Paul, and he let the book fall open on its own. He was astonished to read the thirteenth verse of the thirteenth chapter of the Letter to the Romans, where Paul exhorts his readers to give up the way of the senses and walk the path of Christ. Augustine chose to heed Paul’s advice. He decided he would give up sex (which he began calling a “bitter sweetness”), never marry, and live a spiritual life. To implement these decisions, he decided to become a Christian and receive baptism as well as give up his teaching position. Augustine says he was flooded with peace and a great calm.
“The night is far gone; the day is at hand. So then let us cast off the works of darkness and put on the armor of light. Let us walk properly as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and sensuality, not in quarreling and jealousy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.”(Romans 13:12-14 ESV)
